


Huntington

by Natasha_Monaghan



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, M/M, Twincest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 04:15:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5613619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natasha_Monaghan/pseuds/Natasha_Monaghan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ideal profile, delicate facial features. The Perfection. Just that very perfection rescues. Tom realises, that doesn't want to know what is happening and whether their DNA will ruin their lives or not. Screw it. You can always pretend, that everything's fine, you can always believe in your own lies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Hysterical laugh and curses, shouted in the face. Man holds a grip on womans wrists, says something to a person in a white gown. He nods. Car door slams shut, man sighs tiredly. Allegedly feels like someone is watching him, turns around and looks into a nursery window. Tries to smile, waves his hand.

"Tom, they took mom", confused children's voice mixed with pained snuffle.

A six-year old boy is stood by the window, looking at the leaving car. Tom comes to him, following his gaze. After, grabs his hand, takes from there.

"Tom, where?"

Quite childish, confused glance. Tom, the exact copy of his brother, tries not to look out the window. 

"I don't know, Bill."

He is also a six-year old, but seems more reasonable and calm. 

"Come here, we still have a puzzle to collect."

Bill hesitates for a moment, but soon joins his brother on the floor. Puzzles don't distract him, he asks another question:

"When will we be able to see her, Tom?"

Not taking his gaze off of the picture, quietly answers:

"When dad will allow us."

Bill stays quiet, Tom is oblivious of it for a while. When he notices, he looks up. Sees his brother in tears. 

"You look like a girl, bursting into tears like this."

Tom hugs him, wiping tears of his face with the palm of his hand. 

"Hey, Bill, don't cry. I'm not crying."

Boy sobs and puts his head on his brothers shoulder. 

"Was she sick? Why did dad took her?"

At this moment a man enters the room, Bill, as soon as he saw him, runs to him. 

"Billy, baby, everything's alright, see? It's good." 

Dad hugs his son, bringing him closer, and convinces, that nothing bad's happened. Tom is stood near them, looking at his brother worryingly. 

 

This scene will always be in his memory.

Only later he will understand how much pain and despair he saw in the eyes of his dearest person.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Milo Greene – What's The Matter

"Wake up, you have a shoot today. I'm late already, so I can't make you coffee. Bill! Get up!"

Tom puts his hair up in a messy ponytail, zips his jeans and tries to wake his brother. 

"Bill, get up", tone as calm as possible, but this time followed by harsh movements. 

"Go already, I'll get up", an unhappy voice from somewhere under the blankets, that makes Tom smile. He throws blankets away. With an annoyed exclamation Bill buries his head into a pillow. 

"Don't fall back asleep, bun", Tom kisses Bills right temple, which makes him smile in the pillow. "I left." 

Bill hears that the front door closes. For the next twenty minutes he fights the urge to stay in bed, but after still sits up and streches. 

"Tom, coffee!", not realises for a while that Tom has already left and there's still no coffee, "Shit." 

Pulls a carton of "Marllboro" and a lighter out of a nightstand. Finger slips, when he tries to light up his sigarette, Bill angrily thinks that that's a great start of the day. After a couple of drags, he stands up, comes to the window, opens it. Summer air seeps into the room, it's good though that the weather is warm. Flats windows face the street and, as always, there's a huge traffic. Bill wishes Tom patience and luck. Leaves the window open, goes to the bathroom.

Barely glancing at his reflection in the mirror, Bill understands that Tom loves him for real if he doesn't notice, that he looks that bad in the mornings. Bloodshot eyes with giant dark circles under them. Confetti is stuck in black hair since the night before, Bill brushes it off. Long fingers are covered, for some reason, in something red, barely remembers that that may or may not be someones lipstick. Red bitemarks on the neck? At least, he hopes so. Modelling parties never lead to anything good. Need to call Andre to figure out what happened yesterday. 

After washing his face and somewhat pulling himself together, Kaulitz pours himself some green tea, wisely deciding that coffee is not the best option. Smokes again, calls his brother. 

"How's traffic?" 

"Fuck 'em. You ready?"

"Yes, everything's okay. Can you..." 

"Fucking bitch, what are you doing?!", Tom reacts a little too loudly when someone is breaking the rules that, actually, should've been done by Tom. "Sorry, here. Should I pick you up today? When?" 

"I don't know, I'll call you. Be careful, okay?", Bill understands that his brother can easily break the rules so he will be the one with the most injuries. 

"Okay, if i'll finish the broadcast, i'll pick you up. Bye." 

Bill hangs the call, looks into a mug with something strange. Understands that even if choosing green tea was a wise move, it's disgusting and Bill can't work without his coffee. 

Guten Morgen isnt always good. 

*** 

"Kaulitz, where the hell have you been?" 

Tom grabs his headphones, hears that some song is currently playing. Calmly exhales.

"Traffics, don't yell. I've came already." 

"I've been entertaining them for 15 minutes, now it's your turn." 

"We are working for "DieDarling", I think, it's not really about entertaining." 

Song stops, Tom puts on headphones, stoops to a mic. 

"Tom's here, hi. Shout out to a bitch that cut me off at Yorkstrasse. Good luck and have a nice day, cunt." 

His co-host Chris that yelled at him just two minutes ago, is laughing and mouthes: 

"You're an idiot." 

"Did Chris already lectured you about how shitty the world is? If not, I can do it for him. You probably need a reason to not to go to work anyway." 

Kaulitz works for an unformal radio "DieDarling", he can speak well to say at least. They  
threatened to fire him a couple of times, but Tom knows where to stop and don't cross the line.

The broadcast goes by spontaneously and quick. Tom doesn't notice that Kitty is already standing behind him to swap. He looks at the clock, half six. He nodds to a girl, implying that he's finished.

"I gotta go, leave you with Kitty. Can't not take adventage of this situation and not tell my brother that I'm done. Bill, I hope that your make-up artists have already stopped raping your face and I can take you home. Bye, everyone and please survive, I need raitings for salary." 

Kitty smiles at him when hears a familiar rudeness towards the audience. Maybe people love Tom for it. 

Tom gives Kitty a quick hug, shakes Chris's hand. Silent "See you", he leaves the studio. Deciding that Bill will call him when he's done, goes for a coffee. Sugarless latte, as usual. Barista already knows him, therefore just nods. 

"I listen to your podcast everyday. Can't understand, why you have the highest raitings. You're such a twerp." 

"I'm a charming twerp." 

Deciding that he'll need to wait for Bill for at least a couple of hours, Tom calls Georg, who should be somewhere nearby as he's recording in an adjecent studio. A friend picks up after a couple of rings. 

"Do I really hear Kaulitz." 

"Missed me?", Tom hears that Georg grinned. "Yes, I know you missed me, don't even try to defend yourself. I'm in a cafe near the studio." 

"Laying out the parts, last song in the album. I'll digress only for you." 

"Cos you're my bitch." 

Tom laughed, Georg called him a bastard, but added that he'll be there in 15 minutes. He is a bassist in a popular german band and that's why thay don't see each other often. They know each other from school, been through too much together, it'll be enough for a week-long broadcast in a 24/7 format. 

As soon as Tom sees a guy in a whute t-shirt entering a cafe, he stands up and walks towards him with a smile on his face. Georg tries to hit him in the stomach, but Tom grabs Georgs hand. They hug and go to a table, laughing. 

"How've you been, rock-star?" 

Georg mocks Tom: 

"How've you been, broadcast star? Don't think, that I would still be friends with you, if I would be a rock-star." 

Tom folds his arms:

"Always knew that you're a venal bitch." 

Kaulitz laughs out loud, Georg smiles and shakes his head. 

"You're not amendable, Tom. I'm good or, at least, I should be. We are finishing the album then touring. Will you miss me?" 

"I can't live without you, I'm gonna cry my eyes out. But, in all seriousness, I'm glad for you." 

Tom smiles, Georg nods: 

"I'm glad for me. How are you?" 

Tom thinks for a moment, but answers confidently: 

"Things could not be better. Bill's good, me too. Raitings are high, brother's on the covers. Everything's good, as always."

"Everything's always good with you."

Tom laughs and says that they're lucky. They chat for about an hour and a half, after, Bill calls Tom:

"I'm free, will you pick me up?"

"Sure, just wait for me."

Tom says his goodbyes to Georg, hugs him and wishes him luck. Goes out, gets in the car. Pulls out his keys, but hits the ignition only after a couple of tries. Clenches his teeth and turns the key angrily. Lately, he've been noticing these details at his brother too. Bill can't button up his shirt from the first time, he's not always able to click a pen promptly. Tom understands that they get tired, that nerves can not withstand everyday broadcasts and shootings. Not him nor Bill can't work for months in a row. They could relax. They should relax. 

That picture from his childhood keeps on showing in his mind every god damn time Bill can't ignite his lighter at first. Tom shrugs away these memories, deciding that everything that he remembers - is not their headache. Illusion of integrity. They're too good to have problems. 

***

Slender legs in one hell of skinny jeans. Snow-white shirt with a leather jacket on top. High Martin's. At least he washed the paint off of his face. 

Bill sits in the car, lowers the window. 

"Home?"

"Yes, I'm really tired. "

Bill opens a carton of cigarettes, Tom notices that he can't get one out for a couple of seconds. 

"What the hell, I'm so tired."

Bill withdraws it all on the tiredness, and Tom really wants to believe in it. These doubts should be dispelled, Tom clearly understands it. He don't have enough courage nor desire to check something that makes the blood run cold. In all honesty, it's so scary that it makes the goosebumps rise. 

"What are we gonna do today?"

Bill looks at Tom, but he is too deep in his thoughts to notice. 

"Tom!"

His brother abruptly turns his head and looks at Bill with a questioning look. 

"Yes?"

"Pay attention to the road. I said, what are we gonna do today?"

Tom confusedly turns his eyes back to the road, Bill feels like he's had enough. 

"What's up with you? Why the hell don't you listen to me?" The younger one leans forward to look on Toms face. 

"Everything's okay. I'm just tired too."

"Bullshit." Dramatically leans back in his seat, throws his cigarette out of the window. Folds his hands on his chest. Cold tone and irritation in Bills voice never ended well. Tom inhales deeply and realizes that he'd fucked up. 

"Everything's fine, Bill. We have 'Walker', we can drink and just chill."

"No, we can't."

Tom understands that for the rest of the evening his brother will be malcontent and irritated. Great. That is what Tom needed by the end of the day.

The collar of the shirt is suddenly too tight, Bill unbuttons the first two buttons. Stutters at the third one, trying to undo it for a couple of seconds. Fingers disobey, Tom takes a notice ones again. Squeezes the wheel, bites on the inside of his cheek. Hands start to shake, he inhales. 

He can't just continue to live their normal life, not knowing what's happening to them. He told himself a thousand times that he'll stop noticing those details, that he won't concentrate on them. Doesn't work. As much as he tries to forget, pictures from childhood are always before his eyes. There's only one exit from this spiral of fear and uncertainty - to check. Without telling his brother. To check, but to remain silent. If everything's okay, that there's no need to tell Bill. But if everything's the way Tom thinks, telling Bill is just dangerous. He can't just ruin a life of a person that he loves and he most definitely won't do it. 

For some reason mind is full of thoughts that all of his worst guesses are correct. Subconsciously he understands that his worst guesses are correct, but he is still able to believe. And he will be able for as long as he needs to.

For a couple of seconds takes a glance at Bill. Ideal profile, delicate facial features. The perfection. Just that very perfection saves. Tom understands, that doesn't want to know what is happening and whether their DNA will ruin their lives or not. Screw it. You can always pretend, that everything's fine, you can always believe in your own lies. He won't take the illusion of perfection away from himself just to swap it for reality that will ruin this perfection. Tom will protect it for as long as he can. 

"Bill, I love you."

"You are not forgiven. Don't even think of it."

Tom smiles. This stubbornness that vanishes with a light kiss and an embrace. He'll forgive. Because he loves.


End file.
